Shaggy Dog Stories

[Dana Carpender]

As a kid I knew a bunch of these stupid, long jokes with punned versions
of well-known sayings as the punchline. But now the only punchlines I
can remember are:

"Silly rabbi, kicks are for Trids."
"Let your pages do the walking through the yellow fingers."
"It's a long way to tip a rary"
"Two obese Patties, special Ross, Lester Quiche picking bunions, on the
Sesame Street bus."

So which shaggy dog stories am I forgetting? And, for that matter, how
did this particularly tedious yet popular brand of joke come to be
called a "shaggy dog story?"

Dana

[Dana Carpender]

Post by Dana Carpender
As a kid I knew a bunch of these stupid, long jokes with punned versions
of well-known sayings as the punchline. But now the only punchlines I
"Silly rabbi, kicks are for Trids."
"Let your pages do the walking through the yellow fingers."
"It's a long way to tip a rary"
"Two obese Patties, special Ross, Lester Quiche picking bunions, on the
Sesame Street bus."
So which shaggy dog stories am I forgetting? And, for that matter, how
did this particularly tedious yet popular brand of joke come to be
called a "shaggy dog story?"
Dana

Ah. I've just recalled another; something about "transporting gulls
across staid lions for immortal porpoises."

Yikes.

Dana

[Nostradamus]

On Sat, 13 Jan 2007 22:49:00 -0500, Dana Carpender

Post by Dana Carpender

Post by Dana Carpender
As a kid I knew a bunch of these stupid, long jokes with punned versions
of well-known sayings as the punchline. But now the only punchlines I
"Silly rabbi, kicks are for Trids."
"Let your pages do the walking through the yellow fingers."
"It's a long way to tip a rary"
"Two obese Patties, special Ross, Lester Quiche picking bunions, on the
Sesame Street bus."
So which shaggy dog stories am I forgetting? And, for that matter, how
did this particularly tedious yet popular brand of joke come to be
called a "shaggy dog story?"
Dana

Ah. I've just recalled another; something about "transporting gulls
across staid lions for immortal porpoises."

"Ah, Sweet Mister Rhee of Life."

[John Dean]

Post by Nostradamus
On Sat, 13 Jan 2007 22:49:00 -0500, Dana Carpender

Post by Dana Carpender

Post by Dana Carpender
As a kid I knew a bunch of these stupid, long jokes with punned
versions of well-known sayings as the punchline. But now the only
"Silly rabbi, kicks are for Trids."
"Let your pages do the walking through the yellow fingers."
"It's a long way to tip a rary"
"Two obese Patties, special Ross, Lester Quiche picking bunions, on
the Sesame Street bus."
So which shaggy dog stories am I forgetting? And, for that matter,
how did this particularly tedious yet popular brand of joke come to
be called a "shaggy dog story?"
Dana

Ah. I've just recalled another; something about "transporting gulls
across staid lions for immortal porpoises."

"Ah, Sweet Mister Rhee of Life."

"Someday my prints will come".

[Chris Greville]

Post by John Dean

Post by Nostradamus
On Sat, 13 Jan 2007 22:49:00 -0500, Dana Carpender

Post by Dana Carpender

Post by Dana Carpender
So which shaggy dog stories am I forgetting? And, for that matter,
how did this particularly tedious yet popular brand of joke come to
be called a "shaggy dog story?"
Dana

Ah. I've just recalled another; something about "transporting gulls
across staid lions for immortal porpoises."

"Ah, Sweet Mister Rhee of Life."

"Someday my prints will come".

That famous Italian pencil artist once wrote "Some day my Prince will come -
Camilla"

[Greg Goss]

Post by Chris Greville
That famous Italian pencil artist once wrote "Some day my Prince will come -
Camilla"

I think I've mentioned one of my favorite ads before. I didn't
recognize the celebrity, but my wife knew her instantly.

A redheaded mother is reading a fairy tale to her daughter.

"And the handsome prince swept her off her feet, carried her back to
his castle where they lived happily ever after. For three years or
so. Fortunately the princess had been clever with her money and had
savings ..." I can't remember which mutual fund company had hired
Fergie to advertise for them, and Wendy couldn't tell me whether that
was Fergie's real daughter.

[Chris Greville]

Post by Greg Goss

Post by Chris Greville
That famous Italian pencil artist once wrote "Some day my Prince will come -
Camilla"

I think I've mentioned one of my favorite ads before. I didn't
recognize the celebrity, but my wife knew her instantly.
A redheaded mother is reading a fairy tale to her daughter.
"And the handsome prince swept her off her feet, carried her back to
his castle where they lived happily ever after. For three years or
so. Fortunately the princess had been clever with her money and had
savings ..." I can't remember which mutual fund company had hired
Fergie to advertise for them, and Wendy couldn't tell me whether that
was Fergie's real daughter.

Was the ad. meant to be humorous? Fergie was a million or so in debt when
she got divorced. IIRC, Betty helped her out.

[Greg Goss]

Post by Chris Greville

Post by Greg Goss

Post by Chris Greville
That famous Italian pencil artist once wrote "Some day my Prince will come -
Camilla"

I think I've mentioned one of my favorite ads before. I didn't
recognize the celebrity, but my wife knew her instantly.
A redheaded mother is reading a fairy tale to her daughter.
"And the handsome prince swept her off her feet, carried her back to
his castle where they lived happily ever after. For three years or
so. Fortunately the princess had been clever with her money and had
savings ..." I can't remember which mutual fund company had hired
Fergie to advertise for them, and Wendy couldn't tell me whether that
was Fergie's real daughter.

Was the ad. meant to be humorous? Fergie was a million or so in debt when
she got divorced. IIRC, Betty helped her out.

The savings are what made it a fairy tale, I guess. I never knew the
circumstances of the divorce, and thought that the ad was supposed to
be autobiographical. I guess it was just illustrating the NEED for
savings, to those who knew the details of the divorce.

[N Jill Marsh]

On Mon, 15 Jan 2007 23:14:46 -0000, "Chris Greville"

Post by Chris Greville

Post by Greg Goss
I think I've mentioned one of my favorite ads before. I didn't
recognize the celebrity, but my wife knew her instantly.
A redheaded mother is reading a fairy tale to her daughter.
"And the handsome prince swept her off her feet, carried her back to
his castle where they lived happily ever after. For three years or
so. Fortunately the princess had been clever with her money and had
savings ..." I can't remember which mutual fund company had hired
Fergie to advertise for them, and Wendy couldn't tell me whether that
was Fergie's real daughter.

I remember this ad, but I'm not sure if it was actually her or a
look-a-like. I can't find any reference to it on the internet, though
there's a fair bit of material detailing other companies she's shilled
for. I'm wondering if she'd actually do something like that, in
general she's been pretty careful about what and where she advertises.

Post by Chris Greville
Was the ad. meant to be humorous? Fergie was a million or so in debt when
she got divorced. IIRC, Betty helped her out.

It works either way.

nj"ironical smile"m

[HVS]

Post by Nostradamus
On Sat, 13 Jan 2007 22:49:00 -0500, Dana Carpender

Post by Dana Carpender

Post by Dana Carpender
As a kid I knew a bunch of these stupid, long jokes with
punned versions of well-known sayings as the punchline. But
"Silly rabbi, kicks are for Trids."
"Let your pages do the walking through the yellow fingers."
"It's a long way to tip a rary"
"Two obese Patties, special Ross, Lester Quiche picking
bunions, on the Sesame Street bus."
So which shaggy dog stories am I forgetting? And, for that
matter, how did this particularly tedious yet popular brand of
joke come to be called a "shaggy dog story?"
Dana

Ah. I've just recalled another; something about "transporting
gulls across staid lions for immortal porpoises."

"Ah, Sweet Mister Rhee of Life."

"The son of the squaw of the hippopotomus is equal to the sons of
the squaws of the other two hides.">

[Blinky the Shark]

Post by HVS

Post by Nostradamus
On Sat, 13 Jan 2007 22:49:00 -0500, Dana Carpender

Post by Dana Carpender

Post by Dana Carpender
As a kid I knew a bunch of these stupid, long jokes with
punned versions of well-known sayings as the punchline. But
"Silly rabbi, kicks are for Trids."
"Let your pages do the walking through the yellow fingers."
"It's a long way to tip a rary"
"Two obese Patties, special Ross, Lester Quiche picking
bunions, on the Sesame Street bus."
So which shaggy dog stories am I forgetting? And, for that
matter, how did this particularly tedious yet popular brand
of joke come to be called a "shaggy dog story?"
Dana

Ah. I've just recalled another; something about "transporting
gulls across staid lions for immortal porpoises."

"Ah, Sweet Mister Rhee of Life."

"The son of the squaw of the hippopotomus is equal to the sons
of the squaws of the other two hides.">

A Benny shaved is a Benny urned.

[Bill Kinkaid]

On Sat, 13 Jan 2007 22:49:00 -0500, Dana Carpender

Post by Dana Carpender

Post by Dana Carpender
As a kid I knew a bunch of these stupid, long jokes with punned versions
of well-known sayings as the punchline. But now the only punchlines I
"Silly rabbi, kicks are for Trids."
"Let your pages do the walking through the yellow fingers."
"It's a long way to tip a rary"
"Two obese Patties, special Ross, Lester Quiche picking bunions, on the
Sesame Street bus."
So which shaggy dog stories am I forgetting? And, for that matter, how
did this particularly tedious yet popular brand of joke come to be
called a "shaggy dog story?"

Ah. I've just recalled another; something about "transporting gulls
across staid lions for immortal porpoises."

Not wanting to spoil the fun, but that line never made much sense to
me. Everyone knows the line about young girls across a state line for
immoral purposes, but where did it come from? What difference does
crossing the state line make? Is it immoral in one state and moral in
another?

[Dover Beach]

Post by Bill Kinkaid
Not wanting to spoil the fun, but that line never made much sense to
me. Everyone knows the line about young girls across a state line for
immoral purposes, but where did it come from? What difference does
crossing the state line make? Is it immoral in one state and moral in
another?

It comes from a famous U.S. law called the Mann Act:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mann_Act

http://www.rootsweb.com/~kyjohnso/MannAct.htm

[x***@gmail.com]

Post by Nostradamus
On Sat, 13 Jan 2007 22:49:00 -0500, Dana Carpender

Post by Dana Carpender

Post by Dana Carpender
As a kid I knew a bunch of these stupid, long jokes with punned
versions of well-known sayings as the punchline. But now the only
"Silly rabbi, kicks are for Trids."
"Let your pages do the walking through the yellow fingers."
"It's a long way to tip a rary"
"Two obese Patties, special Ross, Lester Quiche picking bunions, on
the Sesame Street bus."
So which shaggy dog stories am I forgetting? And, for that matter,
how did this particularly tedious yet popular brand of joke come to be
called a "shaggy dog story?"

Ah. I've just recalled another; something about "transporting gulls
across staid lions for immortal porpoises."

Not wanting to spoil the fun, but that line never made much sense to
me. Everyone knows the line about young girls across a state line for
immoral purposes, but where did it come from? What difference does
crossing the state line make? Is it immoral in one state and moral in
another?

Back when federalism was taken seriously, crossing state lines provided
the justification to "make a federal case out of it."

Xho

[Charles Wm. Dimmick]

Post by Nostradamus
On Sat, 13 Jan 2007 22:49:00 -0500, Dana Carpender

Post by Dana Carpender

Post by Dana Carpender
As a kid I knew a bunch of these stupid, long jokes with punned versions
of well-known sayings as the punchline. But now the only punchlines I
"Silly rabbi, kicks are for Trids."
"Let your pages do the walking through the yellow fingers."
"It's a long way to tip a rary"
"Two obese Patties, special Ross, Lester Quiche picking bunions, on the
Sesame Street bus."
So which shaggy dog stories am I forgetting? And, for that matter, how
did this particularly tedious yet popular brand of joke come to be
called a "shaggy dog story?"

Ah. I've just recalled another; something about "transporting gulls
across staid lions for immortal porpoises."

Not wanting to spoil the fun, but that line never made much sense to
me. Everyone knows the line about young girls across a state line for
immoral purposes, but where did it come from? What difference does
crossing the state line make? Is it immoral in one state and moral in
another?

Mann Act.
Which was a punch line in an old Steve Canyon strip:
"Oh Man! Acting"

Charles

[Greg Goss]

Post by Bill Kinkaid
Not wanting to spoil the fun, but that line never made much sense to
me. Everyone knows the line about young girls across a state line for
immoral purposes, but where did it come from? What difference does
crossing the state line make? Is it immoral in one state and moral in
another?

Once upon a time the federal government in the US couldn't intervene
in issues that really belong as state jurisdiction. But if more than
one state is involved, then the federal rules can apply.

Age of consent varies dramatically between various states.

More recently, a court ruled that growing an herb in your own backyard
for your own personal use involved interstate commerce, so that old
idea about leaving state matters to the state has collapsed utterly.

[Bob Ward]

Post by Nostradamus
On Sat, 13 Jan 2007 22:49:00 -0500, Dana Carpender

Post by Dana Carpender

Post by Dana Carpender
As a kid I knew a bunch of these stupid, long jokes with punned versions
of well-known sayings as the punchline. But now the only punchlines I
"Silly rabbi, kicks are for Trids."
"Let your pages do the walking through the yellow fingers."
"It's a long way to tip a rary"
"Two obese Patties, special Ross, Lester Quiche picking bunions, on the
Sesame Street bus."
So which shaggy dog stories am I forgetting? And, for that matter, how
did this particularly tedious yet popular brand of joke come to be
called a "shaggy dog story?"

Ah. I've just recalled another; something about "transporting gulls
across staid lions for immortal porpoises."

Not wanting to spoil the fun, but that line never made much sense to
me. Everyone knows the line about young girls across a state line for
immoral purposes, but where did it come from? What difference does
crossing the state line make? Is it immoral in one state and moral in
another?

Google on "the mann act"

Mann Act
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Jump to: navigation, search

The United States White-Slave Traffic Act of 1910 prohibited so-called
white slavery. It also banned the interstate transport of females for
“immoral purposes”. Its primary stated intent was to address
prostitution and immorality. The act is better known as the Mann Act,
after James Robert Mann, an American lawmaker.

The first person prosecuted under the act was heavyweight boxing
champion Jack Johnson, who encouraged a woman to leave a brothel and
travel with him to another state. Though he later married the girl,
and took her away from a brothel, he was nevertheless prosecuted and
sentenced to a year in prison.

Pioneering sociologist William I. Thomas's academic career at the
University of Chicago was irreversibly damaged after he was arrested
under the act when caught in the company of one Mrs Granger, the wife
of an army officer with the American forces in France, although he was
later acquitted in court.

British film actor Charles Chaplin was prosecuted in 1944 by Federal
authorities for Mann Act charges related to his involvement with
actress Joan Barry. Chaplin was acquitted of the charges, but the
trial permanently damaged his public image in the US, and contributed
to his departure for Switzerland in the early 1950's.

[Joetheone]

Post by Bob Ward

Post by Nostradamus
On Sat, 13 Jan 2007 22:49:00 -0500, Dana Carpender

Post by Dana Carpender

Post by Dana Carpender
As a kid I knew a bunch of these stupid, long jokes with punned versions
of well-known sayings as the punchline. But now the only punchlines I
"Silly rabbi, kicks are for Trids."
"Let your pages do the walking through the yellow fingers."
"It's a long way to tip a rary"
"Two obese Patties, special Ross, Lester Quiche picking bunions, on the
Sesame Street bus."
So which shaggy dog stories am I forgetting? And, for that matter, how
did this particularly tedious yet popular brand of joke come to be
called a "shaggy dog story?"

Ah. I've just recalled another; something about "transporting gulls
across staid lions for immortal porpoises."

Not wanting to spoil the fun, but that line never made much sense to
me. Everyone knows the line about young girls across a state line for
immoral purposes, but where did it come from? What difference does
crossing the state line make? Is it immoral in one state and moral in
another?

Google on "the mann act"
Mann Act
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Jump to: navigation, search
The United States White-Slave Traffic Act of 1910 prohibited so-called
white slavery. It also banned the interstate transport of females for
"immoral purposes". Its primary stated intent was to address
prostitution and immorality. The act is better known as the Mann Act,
after James Robert Mann, an American lawmaker.
The first person prosecuted under the act was heavyweight boxing
champion Jack Johnson, who encouraged a woman to leave a brothel and
travel with him to another state. Though he later married the girl,
and took her away from a brothel, he was nevertheless prosecuted and
sentenced to a year in prison.

"Fare thee well, Jack Johnson, fare thee well"

Post by Bob Ward
Pioneering sociologist William I. Thomas's academic career at the
University of Chicago was irreversibly damaged after he was arrested
under the act when caught in the company of one Mrs Granger, the wife
of an army officer with the American forces in France, although he was
later acquitted in court.
British film actor Charles Chaplin was prosecuted in 1944 by Federal
authorities for Mann Act charges related to his involvement with
actress Joan Barry. Chaplin was acquitted of the charges, but the
trial permanently damaged his public image in the US, and contributed
to his departure for Switzerland in the early 1950's.

[Greg Goss]

Post by Dana Carpender

Post by Dana Carpender
As a kid I knew a bunch of these stupid, long jokes with punned versions
of well-known sayings as the punchline. But now the only punchlines I
"Silly rabbi, kicks are for Trids."
"Let your pages do the walking through the yellow fingers."
"It's a long way to tip a rary"
"Two obese Patties, special Ross, Lester Quiche picking bunions, on the
Sesame Street bus."
So which shaggy dog stories am I forgetting? And, for that matter, how
did this particularly tedious yet popular brand of joke come to be
called a "shaggy dog story?"
Dana

Ah. I've just recalled another; something about "transporting gulls
across staid lions for immortal porpoises."

My favorite was about the poor little dutch boy who missed the cruise
ship pool in the high dive. "I've been through many hardships
before."

[Greg Goss]

Post by Dana Carpender
Ah. I've just recalled another; something about "transporting gulls
across staid lions for immortal porpoises."

And don't forget that "If the Foo shits, wear it!"

[groo]

Post by Greg Goss

Post by Dana Carpender
Ah. I've just recalled another; something about "transporting gulls
across staid lions for immortal porpoises."

And don't forget that "If the Foo shits, wear it!"

And the follow-up "As any seal can plainly foo."

[bill van]

Post by Dana Carpender
As a kid I knew a bunch of these stupid, long jokes with punned versions
of well-known sayings as the punchline. But now the only punchlines I
"Silly rabbi, kicks are for Trids."
"Let your pages do the walking through the yellow fingers."
"It's a long way to tip a rary"
"Two obese Patties, special Ross, Lester Quiche picking bunions, on the
Sesame Street bus."
So which shaggy dog stories am I forgetting?

Uppernockity only tunes once.

Carp-to-carp walleting.

The Czech is in the male.

Post by Dana Carpender
And, for that matter, how
did this particularly tedious yet popular brand of joke come to be
called a "shaggy dog story?"
Dana

If I ever knew that, I've forgotten.

bill

[Nick Spalding]

Post by bill van
The Czech is in the male.

Or as Vlad the Impaler said, "The post is in the Czech".

[Cindbear]

On Sat, 13 Jan 2007 22:46:36 -0500, Dana Carpender

Post by Dana Carpender
As a kid I knew a bunch of these stupid, long jokes with punned versions
of well-known sayings as the punchline. But now the only punchlines I
"Silly rabbi, kicks are for Trids."
"Let your pages do the walking through the yellow fingers."
"It's a long way to tip a rary"
"Two obese Patties, special Ross, Lester Quiche picking bunions, on the
Sesame Street bus."

It's a nick-nack Patty Wack, give the frog a loan!
It's a Hickory Daiquiri, doc!

[Charles Bishop]

Post by Cindbear
On Sat, 13 Jan 2007 22:46:36 -0500, Dana Carpender

Post by Dana Carpender
As a kid I knew a bunch of these stupid, long jokes with punned versions
of well-known sayings as the punchline. But now the only punchlines I
"Silly rabbi, kicks are for Trids."
"Let your pages do the walking through the yellow fingers."
"It's a long way to tip a rary"
"Two obese Patties, special Ross, Lester Quiche picking bunions, on the
Sesame Street bus."

It's a nick-nack Patty Wack, give the frog a loan!
It's a Hickory Daiquiri, doc!

Shutup jackass, I'm getting to that.

[Veronique]

Post by Cindbear
On Sat, 13 Jan 2007 22:46:36 -0500, Dana Carpender

Post by Dana Carpender
As a kid I knew a bunch of these stupid, long jokes with punned versions
of well-known sayings as the punchline. But now the only punchlines I
"Silly rabbi, kicks are for Trids."
"Let your pages do the walking through the yellow fingers."
"It's a long way to tip a rary"
"Two obese Patties, special Ross, Lester Quiche picking bunions, on the
Sesame Street bus."

It's a nick-nack Patty Wack, give the frog a loan!
It's a Hickory Daiquiri, doc!

Pardon me, Roy, is that the cat that chewed your new shoes?


V.

[Dana Carpender]

Post by Cindbear
On Sat, 13 Jan 2007 22:46:36 -0500, Dana Carpender

Post by Dana Carpender
As a kid I knew a bunch of these stupid, long jokes with punned
versions of well-known sayings as the punchline. But now the only
"Silly rabbi, kicks are for Trids." "Let your pages do the walking
through the yellow fingers." "It's a long way to tip a rary" "Two
obese Patties, special Ross, Lester Quiche picking bunions, on the
Sesame Street bus."

It's a nick-nack Patty Wack, give the frog a loan! The end of this,
as I first heard it, was "His old man's a Rolling Stone."

It's a Hickory Daiquiri, doc! Of course.

Oh, and "Chess nuts boasting by an open foyer."

Dana

[x***@gmail.com]

Post by Dana Carpender

Post by Cindbear
On Sat, 13 Jan 2007 22:46:36 -0500, Dana Carpender

Post by Dana Carpender
As a kid I knew a bunch of these stupid, long jokes with punned
versions of well-known sayings as the punchline. But now the only
"Silly rabbi, kicks are for Trids." "Let your pages do the walking
through the yellow fingers." "It's a long way to tip a rary" "Two
obese Patties, special Ross, Lester Quiche picking bunions, on the
Sesame Street bus."

It's a nick-nack Patty Wack, give the frog a loan! The end of this,
as I first heard it, was "His old man's a Rolling Stone."

It's a Hickory Daiquiri, doc! Of course.
Oh, and "Chess nuts boasting by an open foyer."

If the Foo shits, wear it.

Better Nate than lever.

Xho

[Karen AKA Kajikit]

Post by x***@gmail.com

Post by Dana Carpender

Post by Cindbear
On Sat, 13 Jan 2007 22:46:36 -0500, Dana Carpender

Post by Dana Carpender
As a kid I knew a bunch of these stupid, long jokes with punned
versions of well-known sayings as the punchline. But now the only
"Silly rabbi, kicks are for Trids." "Let your pages do the walking
through the yellow fingers." "It's a long way to tip a rary" "Two
obese Patties, special Ross, Lester Quiche picking bunions, on the
Sesame Street bus."

It's a nick-nack Patty Wack, give the frog a loan! The end of this,
as I first heard it, was "His old man's a Rolling Stone."

It's a Hickory Daiquiri, doc! Of course.
Oh, and "Chess nuts boasting by an open foyer."

If the Foo shits, wear it.
Better Nate than lever.

You can't have your kayak and heat it too...

[Charles Wm. Dimmick]

Post by Karen AKA Kajikit

Post by x***@gmail.com

Post by Dana Carpender

Post by Cindbear
On Sat, 13 Jan 2007 22:46:36 -0500, Dana Carpender

Post by Dana Carpender
As a kid I knew a bunch of these stupid, long jokes with punned
versions of well-known sayings as the punchline. But now the only
"Silly rabbi, kicks are for Trids." "Let your pages do the walking
through the yellow fingers." "It's a long way to tip a rary" "Two
obese Patties, special Ross, Lester Quiche picking bunions, on the
Sesame Street bus."

It's a nick-nack Patty Wack, give the frog a loan! The end of this,
as I first heard it, was "His old man's a Rolling Stone."

It's a Hickory Daiquiri, doc! Of course.
Oh, and "Chess nuts boasting by an open foyer."

If the Foo shits, wear it.
Better Nate than lever.

You can't have your kayak and heat it too...

You can't have your Kate and Edith too.

[Joetheone]

Post by x***@gmail.com

Post by Dana Carpender

Post by Cindbear
On Sat, 13 Jan 2007 22:46:36 -0500, Dana Carpender

Post by Dana Carpender
As a kid I knew a bunch of these stupid, long jokes with punned
versions of well-known sayings as the punchline. But now the only
"Silly rabbi, kicks are for Trids." "Let your pages do the walking
through the yellow fingers." "It's a long way to tip a rary" "Two
obese Patties, special Ross, Lester Quiche picking bunions, on the
Sesame Street bus."

It's a nick-nack Patty Wack, give the frog a loan! The end of this,
as I first heard it, was "His old man's a Rolling Stone."

It's a Hickory Daiquiri, doc! Of course.
Oh, and "Chess nuts boasting by an open foyer."

If the Foo shits, wear it.
Better Nate than lever.

The backhoe operator's manual?
"50 Ways to Love your Lever?"

[Greg Goss]

Post by Cindbear
It's a nick-nack Patty Wack, give the frog a loan!

I dated Patti McKechnie for a while. She'd never heard the "Patty
Mack" joke before.

[Nostradamus]

On Sat, 13 Jan 2007 22:46:36 -0500, Dana Carpender

Post by Dana Carpender
As a kid I knew a bunch of these stupid, long jokes with punned versions
of well-known sayings as the punchline. But now the only punchlines I
"Silly rabbi, kicks are for Trids."
"Let your pages do the walking through the yellow fingers."
"It's a long way to tip a rary"
"Two obese Patties, special Ross, Lester Quiche picking bunions, on the
Sesame Street bus."
So which shaggy dog stories am I forgetting? And, for that matter, how
did this particularly tedious yet popular brand of joke come to be
called a "shaggy dog story?"

Wikipedia knows all:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shaggy_dog_story

The archive:
http://www.awpi.com/Combs/Shaggy/

[Dana Carpender]

Post by Cindbear
On Sat, 13 Jan 2007 22:46:36 -0500, Dana Carpender

Post by Dana Carpender
As a kid I knew a bunch of these stupid, long jokes with punned versions
of well-known sayings as the punchline. But now the only punchlines I
"Silly rabbi, kicks are for Trids."
"Let your pages do the walking through the yellow fingers."
"It's a long way to tip a rary"
"Two obese Patties, special Ross, Lester Quiche picking bunions, on the
Sesame Street bus."
So which shaggy dog stories am I forgetting? And, for that matter, how
did this particularly tedious yet popular brand of joke come to be
called a "shaggy dog story?"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shaggy_dog_story
http://www.awpi.com/Combs/Shaggy/

Yeah, I found that last night. Appears to be more than exhaustive.

Dana

[Joetheone]

Just in the interest of being picky, but so far mine's the only one with a
dog.

[Paul L. Madarasz]

On Sun, 14 Jan 2007 19:31:21 GMT, "Joetheone"

Post by Joetheone
Just in the interest of being picky, but so far mine's the only one with a
dog.

Tour all Urals, Yuri? Too raw, Yuri, lie. And a dog.

[Bill Kinkaid]

On Sun, 14 Jan 2007 19:31:21 GMT, "Joetheone"

Post by Joetheone
Just in the interest of being picky, but so far mine's the only one with a
dog.

Nope. I got mine in at 9:55PST today.

[Joetheone]

Post by Paul L. Madarasz
On Sun, 14 Jan 2007 19:31:21 GMT, "Joetheone"

Post by Joetheone
Just in the interest of being picky, but so far mine's the only one with a
dog.

Nope. I got mine in at 9:55PST today.
--
Bill in Vancouver

Welllll, muttermuttermutter

[Dana Carpender]

Post by Joetheone
Just in the interest of being picky, but so far mine's the only one with a
dog.

There's the ever-popular "I wouldn't send a knight out on a dog like this."

Dana

[Charles Bishop]

Post by Joetheone
Just in the interest of being picky, but so far mine's the only one with a
dog.

How shaggy was this dog?













charles, I didn't mean *that* shaggy, bishop

[Joetheone]

Post by Charles Bishop

Post by Joetheone
Just in the interest of being picky, but so far mine's the only one with a
dog.

How shaggy was this dog?
charles, I didn't mean *that* shaggy, bishop

That would depend on if the teller of this particular story specified a
breed of dog.
Some do.

[Bob Ward]

On Sun, 14 Jan 2007 19:31:21 GMT, "Joetheone"

Post by Joetheone
Just in the interest of being picky, but so far mine's the only one with a
dog.

She likes peanut butter - I like toast and jam.

[Lesmond]

Post by Dana Carpender
As a kid I knew a bunch of these stupid, long jokes with punned versions
of well-known sayings as the punchline. But now the only punchlines I
"Silly rabbi, kicks are for Trids."
"Let your pages do the walking through the yellow fingers."
"It's a long way to tip a rary"
"Two obese Patties, special Ross, Lester Quiche picking bunions, on the
Sesame Street bus."
So which shaggy dog stories am I forgetting? And, for that matter, how
did this particularly tedious yet popular brand of joke come to be
called a "shaggy dog story?"

I recall most of those punchlines but only one story.

The Rary was a large, flightless, and valuable bird bought by a wealthy
family. It turned out to be disgusting and obnoxious (insert disgusting and
obnoxious stories here). The family decided to dispose of said bird. A
nearby cliff loomed. They enlisted an accomplice, whom they tried to
convince that no harm would come to the bird. He was skeptical as he gazed
down the sheer drop.

There ya go.

[Maurice Barnhill]

Post by Lesmond

Post by Dana Carpender
As a kid I knew a bunch of these stupid, long jokes with punned versions
of well-known sayings as the punchline. But now the only punchlines I
"Silly rabbi, kicks are for Trids."
"Let your pages do the walking through the yellow fingers."
"It's a long way to tip a rary"
"Two obese Patties, special Ross, Lester Quiche picking bunions, on the
Sesame Street bus."
So which shaggy dog stories am I forgetting? And, for that matter, how
did this particularly tedious yet popular brand of joke come to be
called a "shaggy dog story?"

I recall most of those punchlines but only one story.
The Rary was a large, flightless, and valuable bird bought by a wealthy
family. It turned out to be disgusting and obnoxious (insert disgusting and
obnoxious stories here). The family decided to dispose of said bird. A
nearby cliff loomed. They enlisted an accomplice, whom they tried to
convince that no harm would come to the bird. He was skeptical as he gazed
down the sheer drop.
There ya go.

But how do you get from here to tip a Rary? It seems like
there's a long way left to go.

[Bill Turlock]

Post by Maurice Barnhill

Post by Lesmond

Post by Dana Carpender
As a kid I knew a bunch of these stupid, long jokes with punned versions
of well-known sayings as the punchline. But now the only punchlines I
"Silly rabbi, kicks are for Trids."
"Let your pages do the walking through the yellow fingers."
"It's a long way to tip a rary"
"Two obese Patties, special Ross, Lester Quiche picking bunions, on the
Sesame Street bus."
So which shaggy dog stories am I forgetting? And, for that matter, how
did this particularly tedious yet popular brand of joke come to be
called a "shaggy dog story?"

I recall most of those punchlines but only one story.
The Rary was a large, flightless, and valuable bird bought by a wealthy
family. It turned out to be disgusting and obnoxious (insert disgusting and
obnoxious stories here). The family decided to dispose of said bird. A
nearby cliff loomed. They enlisted an accomplice, whom they tried to
convince that no harm would come to the bird. He was skeptical as he gazed
down the sheer drop.
There ya go.

But how do you get from here to tip a Rary? It seems like
there's a long way left to go.

IIRC, it was kinda' like a Tribble, it increased in size somewhat
geometrically, so thy had to dump it into a huge canyon to keep
it from overrunning the countryside.

[Bill Kinkaid]

Post by Lesmond

Post by Dana Carpender
As a kid I knew a bunch of these stupid, long jokes with punned versions
of well-known sayings as the punchline. But now the only punchlines I
"Silly rabbi, kicks are for Trids."
"Let your pages do the walking through the yellow fingers."
"It's a long way to tip a rary"
"Two obese Patties, special Ross, Lester Quiche picking bunions, on the
Sesame Street bus."
So which shaggy dog stories am I forgetting? And, for that matter, how
did this particularly tedious yet popular brand of joke come to be
called a "shaggy dog story?"

I recall most of those punchlines but only one story.
The Rary was a large, flightless, and valuable bird bought by a wealthy
family. It turned out to be disgusting and obnoxious (insert disgusting and
obnoxious stories here). The family decided to dispose of said bird. A
nearby cliff loomed. They enlisted an accomplice, whom they tried to
convince that no harm would come to the bird. He was skeptical as he gazed
down the sheer drop.

"They arrested him for making an obscene clone fall"
"I wouldn't send the knight out on a dog like this"
"That's the beer that made Milt Famy walk us"

[Veronique]

Post by Lesmond

Post by Dana Carpender
As a kid I knew a bunch of these stupid, long jokes with punned versions
of well-known sayings as the punchline. But now the only punchlines I
"Silly rabbi, kicks are for Trids."
"Let your pages do the walking through the yellow fingers."
"It's a long way to tip a rary"
"Two obese Patties, special Ross, Lester Quiche picking bunions, on the
Sesame Street bus."
So which shaggy dog stories am I forgetting? And, for that matter, how
did this particularly tedious yet popular brand of joke come to be
called a "shaggy dog story?"

I recall most of those punchlines but only one story.
The Rary was a large, flightless, and valuable bird bought by a wealthy
family. It turned out to be disgusting and obnoxious (insert disgusting and
obnoxious stories here). The family decided to dispose of said bird. A
nearby cliff loomed. They enlisted an accomplice, whom they tried to
convince that no harm would come to the bird. He was skeptical as he gazed
down the sheer drop.
There ya go.

"When the Foo shits, wear it."


V.

[TedTheCat]

Post by Lesmond
I recall most of those punchlines but only one story.
The Rary was a large, flightless, and valuable bird bought by a wealthy
family. It turned out to be disgusting and obnoxious (insert disgusting and
obnoxious stories here). The family decided to dispose of said bird. A
nearby cliff loomed. They enlisted an accomplice, whom they tried to
convince that no harm would come to the bird. He was skeptical as he gazed
down the sheer drop.
There ya go.

Johnny Carson used to complain about how bad it was to eat at the NBC
commissary. Back in 1967, when a newly released Paul Newman movie was
popular, he said the commissary hired as a food server a recent
immigrant from the Ukraine who was so uncouth that he dispensed soup by
sticking his bare hands into the soup tureen and shoveling handfulls of
it into soup bowls. They called him Gruel Hand Uke.

[Bill Turlock]

Post by TedTheCat

Post by Lesmond
I recall most of those punchlines but only one story.
The Rary was a large, flightless, and valuable bird bought by a wealthy
family. It turned out to be disgusting and obnoxious (insert disgusting and
obnoxious stories here). The family decided to dispose of said bird. A
nearby cliff loomed. They enlisted an accomplice, whom they tried to
convince that no harm would come to the bird. He was skeptical as he gazed
down the sheer drop.
There ya go.

Johnny Carson used to complain about how bad it was to eat at the NBC
commissary. Back in 1967, when a newly released Paul Newman movie was
popular, he said the commissary hired as a food server a recent
immigrant from the Ukraine who was so uncouth that he dispensed soup by
sticking his bare hands into the soup tureen and shoveling handfulls of
it into soup bowls. They called him Gruel Hand Uke.

I'm thinking it's a UL...

[mdginzo]

"Oh no! I left my harp in Sam the Clam's disco!"

Post by Dana Carpender
As a kid I knew a bunch of these stupid, long jokes with punned versions
of well-known sayings as the punchline. But now the only punchlines I
"Silly rabbi, kicks are for Trids."
"Let your pages do the walking through the yellow fingers."
"It's a long way to tip a rary"
"Two obese Patties, special Ross, Lester Quiche picking bunions, on the
Sesame Street bus."
So which shaggy dog stories am I forgetting? And, for that matter, how
did this particularly tedious yet popular brand of joke come to be
called a "shaggy dog story?"
Dana

[John Dean]

Post by Dana Carpender
As a kid I knew a bunch of these stupid, long jokes with punned
versions of well-known sayings as the punchline. But now the only
"Silly rabbi, kicks are for Trids."
"Let your pages do the walking through the yellow fingers."
"It's a long way to tip a rary"
"Two obese Patties, special Ross, Lester Quiche picking bunions, on
the Sesame Street bus."
So which shaggy dog stories am I forgetting? And, for that matter,
how did this particularly tedious yet popular brand of joke come to be
called a "shaggy dog story?"

You're singling out a sub-set of the shaggy dog story - those that end with
a pun or parody. Which, strictly speaking, isn't the original type of shaggy
dog story because it actually has a punchline. The original SDS have no
punchline and no point. Theories about origins at:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shaggy_dog_story

Simon and Garth's uncle's big chauffeur troubled Walter
Don't cry for me Sergeant Ena

[HVS]

Post by John Dean

Post by Dana Carpender
As a kid I knew a bunch of these stupid, long jokes with punned
versions of well-known sayings as the punchline. But now the
"Silly rabbi, kicks are for Trids."
"Let your pages do the walking through the yellow fingers."
"It's a long way to tip a rary"
"Two obese Patties, special Ross, Lester Quiche picking
bunions, on the Sesame Street bus."
So which shaggy dog stories am I forgetting? And, for that
matter, how did this particularly tedious yet popular brand of
joke come to be called a "shaggy dog story?"

You're singling out a sub-set of the shaggy dog story - those
that end with a pun or parody. Which, strictly speaking, isn't
the original type of shaggy dog story because it actually has a
punchline. The original SDS have no punchline and no point.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shaggy_dog_story
Simon and Garth's uncle's big chauffeur troubled Walter
Don't cry for me Sergeant Ena

Pardon me, Roy: is that the cat that chewed your new shoes?

[John Dean]

Post by HVS

Post by John Dean

Post by Dana Carpender
As a kid I knew a bunch of these stupid, long jokes with punned
versions of well-known sayings as the punchline. But now the
"Silly rabbi, kicks are for Trids."
"Let your pages do the walking through the yellow fingers."
"It's a long way to tip a rary"
"Two obese Patties, special Ross, Lester Quiche picking
bunions, on the Sesame Street bus."
So which shaggy dog stories am I forgetting? And, for that
matter, how did this particularly tedious yet popular brand of
joke come to be called a "shaggy dog story?"

You're singling out a sub-set of the shaggy dog story - those
that end with a pun or parody. Which, strictly speaking, isn't
the original type of shaggy dog story because it actually has a
punchline. The original SDS have no punchline and no point.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shaggy_dog_story
Simon and Garth's uncle's big chauffeur troubled Walter
Don't cry for me Sergeant Ena

Pardon me, Roy: is that the cat that chewed your new shoes?

The Koala tea of Mercy is not strained

[a***@yahoo.com]

Post by John Dean
You're singling out a sub-set of the shaggy dog story - those that end with
a pun or parody. Which, strictly speaking, isn't the original type of shaggy
dog story because it actually has a punchline. The original SDS have no
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shaggy_dog_story

Anybody else remember the one that ends "I can't tell you, you're not a
monk"?

[Charles Wm. Dimmick]

Post by John Dean

Post by Dana Carpender
As a kid I knew a bunch of these stupid, long jokes with punned
versions of well-known sayings as the punchline. But now the only
"Silly rabbi, kicks are for Trids."
"Let your pages do the walking through the yellow fingers."
"It's a long way to tip a rary"
"Two obese Patties, special Ross, Lester Quiche picking bunions, on
the Sesame Street bus."
So which shaggy dog stories am I forgetting? And, for that matter,
how did this particularly tedious yet popular brand of joke come to be
called a "shaggy dog story?"

You're singling out a sub-set of the shaggy dog story - those that end with
a pun or parody. Which, strictly speaking, isn't the original type of shaggy
dog story because it actually has a punchline. The original SDS have no
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shaggy_dog_story
Simon and Garth's uncle's big chauffeur troubled Walter
Don't cry for me Sergeant Ena

1. Practically every punch line anybody has listed in this thread
brought back memories of my hearing and retelling the original from
which it came. I don't know whether that's good news or bad news.

2. Your last two puns remind me of that class of knock-knock
joke which ends with the first line of a well-known [at the time]
song, example:

a. Knock-knock
Who's there?
Sam and Janet
Sam and Janet who?
[break into song] "Sam and Janet evening"

Others included "Butcher" and "Don Amiche"

Charles

[John Dean]

Post by Charles Wm. Dimmick

Post by John Dean

Post by Dana Carpender
As a kid I knew a bunch of these stupid, long jokes with punned
versions of well-known sayings as the punchline. But now the only
"Silly rabbi, kicks are for Trids."
"Let your pages do the walking through the yellow fingers."
"It's a long way to tip a rary"
"Two obese Patties, special Ross, Lester Quiche picking bunions, on
the Sesame Street bus."
So which shaggy dog stories am I forgetting? And, for that matter,
how did this particularly tedious yet popular brand of joke come to
be called a "shaggy dog story?"

You're singling out a sub-set of the shaggy dog story - those that
end with a pun or parody. Which, strictly speaking, isn't the
original type of shaggy dog story because it actually has a
punchline. The original SDS have no punchline and no point. Theories
about origins at: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shaggy_dog_story
Simon and Garth's uncle's big chauffeur troubled Walter
Don't cry for me Sergeant Ena

1. Practically every punch line anybody has listed in this thread
brought back memories of my hearing and retelling the original from
which it came. I don't know whether that's good news or bad news.
2. Your last two puns remind me of that class of knock-knock
joke which ends with the first line of a well-known [at the time]
a. Knock-knock
Who's there?
Sam and Janet
Sam and Janet who?
[break into song] "Sam and Janet evening"
Others included "Butcher" and "Don Amiche"

"Chester song at twilight"
It may have come to pass that you are one of the few of your species who
have not heard the Shakespearean knock-knock:

knock-knock
Who's there?
Mandy
Mandy who?
Mandy lights not me: no, nor woman neither, though by your smiling you seem
to say so.

[darkon]

Post by John Dean

Post by Charles Wm. Dimmick

Post by John Dean

Post by Dana Carpender
As a kid I knew a bunch of these stupid, long jokes with
punned versions of well-known sayings as the punchline. But
"Silly rabbi, kicks are for Trids."
"Let your pages do the walking through the yellow fingers."
"It's a long way to tip a rary"
"Two obese Patties, special Ross, Lester Quiche picking
bunions, on the Sesame Street bus."
So which shaggy dog stories am I forgetting? And, for that
matter, how did this particularly tedious yet popular brand
of joke come to be called a "shaggy dog story?"

You're singling out a sub-set of the shaggy dog story - those
that end with a pun or parody. Which, strictly speaking, isn't
the original type of shaggy dog story because it actually has
a punchline. The original SDS have no punchline and no point.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shaggy_dog_story
Simon and Garth's uncle's big chauffeur troubled Walter
Don't cry for me Sergeant Ena

1. Practically every punch line anybody has listed in this
thread brought back memories of my hearing and retelling the
original from which it came. I don't know whether that's good
news or bad news.
2. Your last two puns remind me of that class of knock-knock
joke which ends with the first line of a well-known [at the
a. Knock-knock
Who's there?
Sam and Janet
Sam and Janet who?
[break into song] "Sam and Janet evening"
Others included "Butcher" and "Don Amiche"

"Chester song at twilight"
It may have come to pass that you are one of the few of your
knock-knock
Who's there?
Mandy
Mandy who?
Mandy lights not me: no, nor woman neither, though by your
smiling you seem to say so.

Oh Mandy, you came and you gave without taking...

[Bob Ward]

On Sun, 14 Jan 2007 23:51:09 GMT, "Charles Wm. Dimmick"

Post by Charles Wm. Dimmick

Post by John Dean

Post by Dana Carpender
As a kid I knew a bunch of these stupid, long jokes with punned
versions of well-known sayings as the punchline. But now the only
"Silly rabbi, kicks are for Trids."
"Let your pages do the walking through the yellow fingers."
"It's a long way to tip a rary"
"Two obese Patties, special Ross, Lester Quiche picking bunions, on
the Sesame Street bus."
So which shaggy dog stories am I forgetting? And, for that matter,
how did this particularly tedious yet popular brand of joke come to be
called a "shaggy dog story?"

You're singling out a sub-set of the shaggy dog story - those that end with
a pun or parody. Which, strictly speaking, isn't the original type of shaggy
dog story because it actually has a punchline. The original SDS have no
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shaggy_dog_story
Simon and Garth's uncle's big chauffeur troubled Walter
Don't cry for me Sergeant Ena

1. Practically every punch line anybody has listed in this thread
brought back memories of my hearing and retelling the original from
which it came. I don't know whether that's good news or bad news.
2. Your last two puns remind me of that class of knock-knock
joke which ends with the first line of a well-known [at the time]
a. Knock-knock
Who's there?
Sam and Janet
Sam and Janet who?
[break into song] "Sam and Janet evening"
Others included "Butcher" and "Don Amiche"
Charles

Our family gatherings usually devolve to just such a cascade - but
either my brother or I stop it with the unknown punchline - I've
shared it here, but no one has yet come up with a suitable backstory:
"... and then the butler stuck his dick in the mashed potatoes."

[DT]

People that live in glass houses shouldn't stow thrones.

[Peter Boulding]

Post by DT
People that live in glass houses shouldn't stow thrones.

And *black* elephants are *easy* to catch.

[Nick Spalding]

Post by DT
People that live in glass houses shouldn't stow thrones.

Grass houses shirley?

[DT]

Post by Nick Spalding

DT wrote,
People that live in glass houses shouldn't stow thrones.

Grass houses shirley?
I think I heard that "grass houses."
The way I heard it, it's "grass houses".

Oh, sure, NOW you tell me. Where were you when I was bombing at the Improv?
That joke should have *killed* 'em.

[Dana Carpender]

Post by DT
People that live in glass houses shouldn't stow thrones.

I think I heard that "grass houses."

Dana

[Random832]

Post by DT
People that live in glass houses shouldn't stow thrones.

The way I heard it, it's "grass houses".

[Greg Goss]

Post by DT
People that live in glass houses shouldn't stow thrones.

There was a comment on the Flintstones that people who live in stone
houses shouldn't throw glass. I forget the context though.

[DT]

Letterman once did a bit where he only told the punch lines to some fairly
nasty jokes, where the entire joke couldn't be told on TV. The only one I
recall was:

"Most guys just leave her hanging there."

[John Dean]

Post by DT
Letterman once did a bit where he only told the punch lines to some
fairly nasty jokes, where the entire joke couldn't be told on TV. The
"Most guys just leave her hanging there."

"Next week it's your turn in the barrel"
"Mais, mon ami! You do not want an ugly one!"

[Bob Ward]

On Sun, 14 Jan 2007 17:58:46 -0000, "John Dean"

Post by John Dean

Post by DT
Letterman once did a bit where he only told the punch lines to some
fairly nasty jokes, where the entire joke couldn't be told on TV. The
"Most guys just leave her hanging there."

"Next week it's your turn in the barrel"
"Mais, mon ami! You do not want an ugly one!"

"The rest of the men usually ride the camel into the village".

[darkon]

Post by DT
Letterman once did a bit where he only told the punch lines to
some fairly nasty jokes, where the entire joke couldn't be told
"Most guys just leave her hanging there."

"You're fucked now!"

[Dana Carpender]

Post by darkon

Post by DT
Letterman once did a bit where he only told the punch lines to
some fairly nasty jokes, where the entire joke couldn't be told
"Most guys just leave her hanging there."

"You're fucked now!"

"You can't fool me. With gums like that I'm not surprised."

Dana

[Cindbear]

Post by DT
Letterman once did a bit where he only told the punch lines to some fairly
nasty jokes, where the entire joke couldn't be told on TV. The only one I
"Most guys just leave her hanging there."

Kinda like the Top Ten Punchlines to Scottish Dirty Jokes...

She's in the barn making Johnny Walker Red.
No, that isn't a bagpipe, but don't stop playing it.
Of course she's served millions, she's a Mcdonald
I didn't know you could get wool from them too!
Would you like to shake hands with the Loch Ness Monster?

[The AnsaMan]

Post by Cindbear
No, that isn't a bagpipe, but don't stop playing it.

Hell of a scrotum on that fella.

[Hactar]

Post by The AnsaMan

Post by Cindbear
No, that isn't a bagpipe, but don't stop playing it.

Hell of a scrotum on that fella.

No, no: "Play it? If I can get its pajamas off, I'll fuck it!"

[Bill Turlock]

Post by Hactar

Post by The AnsaMan

Post by Cindbear
No, that isn't a bagpipe, but don't stop playing it.

Hell of a scrotum on that fella.

No, no: "Play it? If I can get its pajamas off, I'll fuck it!"

OK, original or not, that's the Joke of the Week!!

Bravo!!

[Hactar]

Post by Bill Turlock

Post by Hactar

Post by The AnsaMan

Post by Cindbear
No, that isn't a bagpipe, but don't stop playing it.

Hell of a scrotum on that fella.

No, no: "Play it? If I can get its pajamas off, I'll fuck it!"

OK, original or not, that's the Joke of the Week!!
Bravo!!

Alas... maybe a third of the way down
http://www.salon.com/books/feature/1999/12/16/lethem/index.html

[Joetheone]

Post by The AnsaMan

Post by Cindbear
No, that isn't a bagpipe, but don't stop playing it.

Hell of a scrotum on that fella.
--
The AnsaMan

Rectum? Damn near killed 'im!

[Peter Ward]

Post by Cindbear

Post by DT
Letterman once did a bit where he only told the punch lines to some fairly
nasty jokes, where the entire joke couldn't be told on TV. The only one I
"Most guys just leave her hanging there."

Kinda like the Top Ten Punchlines to Scottish Dirty Jokes...
She's in the barn making Johnny Walker Red.
No, that isn't a bagpipe, but don't stop playing it.
Of course she's served millions, she's a Mcdonald
I didn't know you could get wool from them too!
Would you like to shake hands with the Loch Ness Monster?

Aye lassie, and if you put yer hand up again, you'll find it's
gruesome more.

[groo]

Post by Cindbear
Kinda like the Top Ten Punchlines to Scottish Dirty Jokes...
She's in the barn making Johnny Walker Red.
No, that isn't a bagpipe, but don't stop playing it.
Of course she's served millions, she's a Mcdonald
I didn't know you could get wool from them too!
Would you like to shake hands with the Loch Ness Monster?

"The boys in the Regiment have decided, we'll have it repaired."

[The AnsaMan]

Post by DT
Letterman once did a bit where he only told the punch lines to some
fairly nasty jokes, where the entire joke couldn't be told on TV. The
"Most guys just leave her hanging there."

He doesn't go for that shit either!

-
The AnsaMan
Probably the saddest thing you'll ever
see is a mosquito sucking on a
mummy. Forget it, little friend.

[Bo Bradham]

Post by Dana Carpender
As a kid I knew a bunch of these stupid, long jokes with punned versions
of well-known sayings as the punchline. But now the only punchlines I
"Silly rabbi, kicks are for Trids."
"Let your pages do the walking through the yellow fingers."
"It's a long way to tip a rary"
"Two obese Patties, special Ross, Lester Quiche picking bunions, on the
Sesame Street bus."
So which shaggy dog stories am I forgetting? And, for that matter, how
did this particularly tedious yet popular brand of joke come to be
called a "shaggy dog story?"

A stolen roan gathers Moe Noss.

Wait until the nun signs, Shelly.

I think this kind of story is known as a "Feghoot." Not quite the
same as the original "shaggy dog story" (which is supposed to end
with an anti-punchline, something deadpan like "that dog's not so
shaggy.")

Bo

[Nostradamus]

Post by Bo Bradham

Post by Dana Carpender
As a kid I knew a bunch of these stupid, long jokes with punned versions
of well-known sayings as the punchline. But now the only punchlines I
"Silly rabbi, kicks are for Trids."
"Let your pages do the walking through the yellow fingers."
"It's a long way to tip a rary"
"Two obese Patties, special Ross, Lester Quiche picking bunions, on the
Sesame Street bus."
So which shaggy dog stories am I forgetting? And, for that matter, how
did this particularly tedious yet popular brand of joke come to be
called a "shaggy dog story?"

A stolen roan gathers Moe Noss.
Wait until the nun signs, Shelly.
I think this kind of story is known as a "Feghoot." Not quite the
same as the original "shaggy dog story" (which is supposed to end
with an anti-punchline, something deadpan like "that dog's not so
shaggy.")

Like "A Wet Bird Never Flies at Night."

[Cheetah]

Post by Bo Bradham

Post by Dana Carpender
As a kid I knew a bunch of these stupid, long jokes with punned
versions of well-known sayings as the punchline. But now the only
"Silly rabbi, kicks are for Trids."
"Let your pages do the walking through the yellow fingers."
"It's a long way to tip a rary"
"Two obese Patties, special Ross, Lester Quiche picking bunions, on
the Sesame Street bus."
So which shaggy dog stories am I forgetting? And, for that matter,
how did this particularly tedious yet popular brand of joke come to
be called a "shaggy dog story?"

A stolen roan gathers Moe Noss.
Wait until the nun signs, Shelly.
I think this kind of story is known as a "Feghoot." Not quite the
same as the original "shaggy dog story" (which is supposed to end
with an anti-punchline, something deadpan like "that dog's not so
shaggy.")
Bo

The only one I remember now is about the desert scene, where the
beautiful maiden is riding a camel alongside her beloved. On and on they
ride (length depending on the amount of time you have to wind up the
listener), and each time they stop at an oasis, she asks him if he would
like to sleep with her. The answer is always "No." Finally, (when the
storyteller is exhausted) she boldy asks "Why not?" The tale ends with
the lover saying, "I'm not sleepy."

[Peter Ward]

On Sun, 14 Jan 2007 17:18:13 -0800, "Cheetah"

Post by Cheetah

Post by Bo Bradham

Post by Dana Carpender
As a kid I knew a bunch of these stupid, long jokes with punned
versions of well-known sayings as the punchline. But now the only
"Silly rabbi, kicks are for Trids."
"Let your pages do the walking through the yellow fingers."
"It's a long way to tip a rary"
"Two obese Patties, special Ross, Lester Quiche picking bunions, on
the Sesame Street bus."
So which shaggy dog stories am I forgetting? And, for that matter,
how did this particularly tedious yet popular brand of joke come to
be called a "shaggy dog story?"

A stolen roan gathers Moe Noss.
Wait until the nun signs, Shelly.
I think this kind of story is known as a "Feghoot." Not quite the
same as the original "shaggy dog story" (which is supposed to end
with an anti-punchline, something deadpan like "that dog's not so
shaggy.")
Bo

The only one I remember now is about the desert scene, where the
beautiful maiden is riding a camel alongside her beloved. On and on they
ride (length depending on the amount of time you have to wind up the
listener), and each time they stop at an oasis, she asks him if he would
like to sleep with her. The answer is always "No." Finally, (when the
storyteller is exhausted) she boldy asks "Why not?" The tale ends with
the lover saying, "I'm not sleepy."

"I want to stay in the front seat with you"

[Joetheone]

Post by Peter Ward
On Sun, 14 Jan 2007 17:18:13 -0800, "Cheetah"

Post by Cheetah

Post by Bo Bradham

Post by Dana Carpender
As a kid I knew a bunch of these stupid, long jokes with punned
versions of well-known sayings as the punchline. But now the only
"Silly rabbi, kicks are for Trids."
"Let your pages do the walking through the yellow fingers."
"It's a long way to tip a rary"
"Two obese Patties, special Ross, Lester Quiche picking bunions, on
the Sesame Street bus."
So which shaggy dog stories am I forgetting? And, for that matter,
how did this particularly tedious yet popular brand of joke come to
be called a "shaggy dog story?"

A stolen roan gathers Moe Noss.
Wait until the nun signs, Shelly.
I think this kind of story is known as a "Feghoot." Not quite the
same as the original "shaggy dog story" (which is supposed to end
with an anti-punchline, something deadpan like "that dog's not so
shaggy.")
Bo

The only one I remember now is about the desert scene, where the
beautiful maiden is riding a camel alongside her beloved. On and on they
ride (length depending on the amount of time you have to wind up the
listener), and each time they stop at an oasis, she asks him if he would
like to sleep with her. The answer is always "No." Finally, (when the
storyteller is exhausted) she boldy asks "Why not?" The tale ends with
the lover saying, "I'm not sleepy."

"I want to stay in the front seat with you"
--
Peter

"I showed him Gramma! I rolled him over and got on top and disgraced HIS
family!"

[Que Barbara]

Post by Cheetah

Post by Bo Bradham

Post by Dana Carpender
As a kid I knew a bunch of these stupid, long jokes with punned
versions of well-known sayings as the punchline. But now the only
"Silly rabbi, kicks are for Trids."
"Let your pages do the walking through the yellow fingers."
"It's a long way to tip a rary"
"Two obese Patties, special Ross, Lester Quiche picking bunions, on
the Sesame Street bus."
So which shaggy dog stories am I forgetting? And, for that matter,
how did this particularly tedious yet popular brand of joke come to
be called a "shaggy dog story?"

A stolen roan gathers Moe Noss.
Wait until the nun signs, Shelly.
I think this kind of story is known as a "Feghoot." Not quite the
same as the original "shaggy dog story" (which is supposed to end
with an anti-punchline, something deadpan like "that dog's not so
shaggy.")
Bo

The only one I remember now is about the desert scene, where the
beautiful maiden is riding a camel alongside her beloved. On and on they
ride (length depending on the amount of time you have to wind up the
listener), and each time they stop at an oasis, she asks him if he would
like to sleep with her. The answer is always "No." Finally, (when the
storyteller is exhausted) she boldy asks "Why not?" The tale ends with
the lover saying, "I'm not sleepy."

This thread reminds me of a stupid joke I used to annoy people with
when I was in the fifth grade or so:

Why are fire engines painted red?

One and one is two, two plus two is four, four times three is twelve.
There are 12 inches in a ruler. Queen Elizabeth is a ruler. Queen
Elizabeth is also a ship. Ships sail on the ocean. Fishes swim in the
ocean. Fishes have fins. The Finns fought the Russians. Russians are
also known as "Reds". Fire engines are always rushin', and that's
why they're painted red.

[Joetheone]

Post by Dana Carpender
As a kid I knew a bunch of these stupid, long jokes with punned versions
of well-known sayings as the punchline. But now the only punchlines I
"Silly rabbi, kicks are for Trids."
"Let your pages do the walking through the yellow fingers."
"It's a long way to tip a rary"
"Two obese Patties, special Ross, Lester Quiche picking bunions, on the
Sesame Street bus."
So which shaggy dog stories am I forgetting? And, for that matter, how
did this particularly tedious yet popular brand of joke come to be
called a "shaggy dog story?"
Dana

"I'm lookin' for the man that shot my paw."

[Bermuda999]

Post by Joetheone

Post by Dana Carpender
As a kid I knew a bunch of these stupid, long jokes with punned versions
of well-known sayings as the punchline. But now the only punchlines I
"Silly rabbi, kicks are for Trids."
"Let your pages do the walking through the yellow fingers."
"It's a long way to tip a rary"
"Two obese Patties, special Ross, Lester Quiche picking bunions, on the
Sesame Street bus."
So which shaggy dog stories am I forgetting? And, for that matter, how
did this particularly tedious yet popular brand of joke come to be
called a "shaggy dog story?"
Dana

"I'm lookin' for the man that shot my paw."

"Rudolf the Red knows rain, dear."

[D.F. Manno]

Post by Dana Carpender
As a kid I knew a bunch of these stupid, long jokes with punned versions
of well-known sayings as the punchline. But now the only punchlines I
"Silly rabbi, kicks are for Trids."
"Let your pages do the walking through the yellow fingers."
"It's a long way to tip a rary"
"Two obese Patties, special Ross, Lester Quiche picking bunions, on the
Sesame Street bus."
So which shaggy dog stories am I forgetting? And, for that matter, how
did this particularly tedious yet popular brand of joke come to be
called a "shaggy dog story?"

"Pardon me, Roy, is that the cat who chewed your new shoes?"

"Pardon me, goy, is that the chatty new guru's pew?"

"Pardon me, Ford, this is the chap who knew to choose you."

"It's the rambling rack of George the Czech and his elephant engineer."

"It's the bottom of the Ninth, the score is tied, and the basses are loaded."

[D.F. Manno]

Post by D.F. Manno
"Pardon me, Roy, is that the cat who chewed your new shoes?"
"Pardon me, goy, is that the chatty new guru's pew?"
"Pardon me, Ford, this is the chap who knew to choose you."
"It's the rambling rack of George the Czech and his elephant engineer."
"It's the bottom of the Ninth, the score is tied, and the basses are loaded."

Here's one courtesy of Isaac Asimov: "Give my big hearts to Maude, Dwayne.
Dismember me for Harold's choir. Tell all the Foys on Sortibackenstrete that I
will soon be there. . . ."

[Cindbear]

Post by D.F. Manno

Post by Dana Carpender
As a kid I knew a bunch of these stupid, long jokes with punned versions
of well-known sayings as the punchline. But now the only punchlines I
"Silly rabbi, kicks are for Trids."
"Let your pages do the walking through the yellow fingers."
"It's a long way to tip a rary"
"Two obese Patties, special Ross, Lester Quiche picking bunions, on the
Sesame Street bus."
So which shaggy dog stories am I forgetting? And, for that matter, how
did this particularly tedious yet popular brand of joke come to be
called a "shaggy dog story?"

"Pardon me, Roy, is that the cat who chewed your new shoes?"
"Pardon me, goy, is that the chatty new guru's pew?"
"Pardon me, Ford, this is the chap who knew to choose you."
"It's the rambling rack of George the Czech and his elephant engineer."
"It's the bottom of the Ninth, the score is tied, and the basses are loaded."

The Mills are alive with the hounds of Munich.

[Nasti J]

Post by Dana Carpender
As a kid I knew a bunch of these stupid, long jokes with punned versions
of well-known sayings as the punchline...

He's a rootin'-tootin' Haifa lootin' son of a nun from Barcelona.
If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amahl.

njg

[K_S_ONeill]

Post by Dana Carpender
As a kid I knew a bunch of these stupid, long jokes with punned versions
of well-known sayings as the punchline. But now the only punchlines I
"Silly rabbi, kicks are for Trids."
"Let your pages do the walking through the yellow fingers."
"It's a long way to tip a rary"
"Two obese Patties, special Ross, Lester Quiche picking bunions, on the
Sesame Street bus."
So which shaggy dog stories am I forgetting?

I remember a couple of Ferdinand Feghoot stories I thought were
hilarious when I was about fifteen;

"Mah hammered alley is really cashews clay," and
"He's so drunk he can't wok a strayed lion."

Post by Dana Carpender
And, for that matter, how
did this particularly tedious yet popular brand of joke come to be
called a "shaggy dog story?"

I had a shaggy dog, once.

[Dana Carpender]

Post by K_S_ONeill

Post by Dana Carpender
As a kid I knew a bunch of these stupid, long jokes with punned versions
of well-known sayings as the punchline. But now the only punchlines I
"Silly rabbi, kicks are for Trids."
"Let your pages do the walking through the yellow fingers."
"It's a long way to tip a rary"
"Two obese Patties, special Ross, Lester Quiche picking bunions, on the
Sesame Street bus."
So which shaggy dog stories am I forgetting?

I remember a couple of Ferdinand Feghoot stories I thought were
hilarious when I was about fifteen;
"Mah hammered alley is really cashews clay," and
"He's so drunk he can't wok a strayed lion."

I actually know one about Quasimodo with three, count'em, three punchlines:

"I don't know his name, but his face rings a bell"
"I don't know, but he's a dead ringer for the last guy."
"I don't know, but I have a hunch."

Dana

[Paul L. Madarasz]

On Sun, 14 Jan 2007 14:14:47 -0500, Dana Carpender

Post by Dana Carpender

Post by K_S_ONeill

Post by Dana Carpender
As a kid I knew a bunch of these stupid, long jokes with punned versions
of well-known sayings as the punchline. But now the only punchlines I
"Silly rabbi, kicks are for Trids."
"Let your pages do the walking through the yellow fingers."
"It's a long way to tip a rary"
"Two obese Patties, special Ross, Lester Quiche picking bunions, on the
Sesame Street bus."
So which shaggy dog stories am I forgetting?

I remember a couple of Ferdinand Feghoot stories I thought were
hilarious when I was about fifteen;
"Mah hammered alley is really cashews clay," and
"He's so drunk he can't wok a strayed lion."

"I don't know his name, but his face rings a bell"
"I don't know, but he's a dead ringer for the last guy."
"I don't know, but I have a hunch."
Dana

I've got that one too; it was floating around the net around, oh, 15
years ago, I think.

[Peter Ward]

Post by K_S_ONeill
I had a shaggy dog, once.

Perv!

[Bermuda999]

Post by K_S_ONeill

Post by Dana Carpender
As a kid I knew a bunch of these stupid, long jokes with punned versions
of well-known sayings as the punchline. But now the only punchlines I
"Silly rabbi, kicks are for Trids."
"Let your pages do the walking through the yellow fingers."
"It's a long way to tip a rary"
"Two obese Patties, special Ross, Lester Quiche picking bunions, on the
Sesame Street bus."
So which shaggy dog stories am I forgetting?

I remember a couple of Ferdinand Feghoot stories I thought were
hilarious when I was about fifteen;
"Mah hammered alley is really cashews clay," and
"He's so drunk he can't wok a strayed lion."

Post by Dana Carpender
And, for that matter, how
did this particularly tedious yet popular brand of joke come to be
called a "shaggy dog story?"

I had a shaggy dog, once.

How did it smell?

[Opus the Penguin]

Post by K_S_ONeill

Post by Dana Carpender
And, for that matter, how
did this particularly tedious yet popular brand of joke come to
be called a "shaggy dog story?"

I had a shaggy dog, once.

That dog wasn't so shaggy.

[Hactar]

Post by Dana Carpender
As a kid I knew a bunch of these stupid, long jokes with punned versions
of well-known sayings as the punchline. But now the only punchlines I
"Silly rabbi, kicks are for Trids."
"Let your pages do the walking through the yellow fingers."
"It's a long way to tip a rary"
"Two obese Patties, special Ross, Lester Quiche picking bunions, on the
Sesame Street bus."
So which shaggy dog stories am I forgetting?

"A green-and-yellow brick."

[Charles Wm. Dimmick]

Post by Hactar

Post by Dana Carpender
As a kid I knew a bunch of these stupid, long jokes with punned versions
of well-known sayings as the punchline. But now the only punchlines I
"Silly rabbi, kicks are for Trids."
"Let your pages do the walking through the yellow fingers."
"It's a long way to tip a rary"
"Two obese Patties, special Ross, Lester Quiche picking bunions, on the
Sesame Street bus."
So which shaggy dog stories am I forgetting?

"A green-and-yellow brick."

Just follow the yellow-prick toad.

[Greg Goss]

Post by Dana Carpender
As a kid I knew a bunch of these stupid, long jokes with punned versions
of well-known sayings as the punchline. But now the only punchlines I
"Silly rabbi, kicks are for Trids."
"Let your pages do the walking through the yellow fingers."
"It's a long way to tip a rary"
"Two obese Patties, special Ross, Lester Quiche picking bunions, on the
Sesame Street bus."
So which shaggy dog stories am I forgetting? And, for that matter, how
did this particularly tedious yet popular brand of joke come to be
called a "shaggy dog story?"

Dunno, but Asimov did a short story in 1951 called "Shah Guido G."
where, after the addition of a company of female naval auxiliary
types, the floating city of Atlantis once again sank beneath the
Waves. Asimov liked to point out that the story title should be
re-spaced as "Shahgui Dog." So the term was already fully set in
place by the beginning of the fifties.